Sam’s way of looking at life was what fueled his passion to serve others. Until Sam got sick, Gail never filled up her own car with gas. Sam made and served her coffee every morning although he didn’t like to drink it and when she ordered a cappuccino called it “crappuccino with dog froth”.
Gail, we honor you. You’re love for Sam never wavered and grew from strength to strength throughout his illness. We all remember your response after he passed on Sun night and you said through your tears, “Sam, you can walk, you can talk, you can sing, you can dance….and you never could do those things before.”
We honor you Jeni for your loving and faithful care for your Dad over the past 8 months. We honor you girls for your continued love for your dad, your faith, and your victorious attitudes no matter what.
Sam was a man who saw the best in people. He never demeaned others and he always looked for ways to be a peacemaker. His dry sense of humor and steadfast character served to anchor his family through any adversity. Sam was a comforter and encourager whose freshly cleaned white handkerchief was always available when needed.
Sam walked in the blessing of God even during his illness. He saw life as a gift and nothing God created was too mundane or unworthy of appreciation. Gail remembers times when he would move his index finger and talk about how amazing and complex the movement was. Years later during his battle with MLD he was losing mobility and motor skills and Gail was reflecting on Sam’s appreciation for mere movement when she heard the Holy Spirit whisper to here that “In me he still lives and moves and has his being.”
Sam loved the Psalms and faithfully read his Bible. Psalm 112 is one that I believe typifies Sam:
Blessed is the man who fears the LORD ,
who finds great delight in his commands.
His children will be mighty in the land;
each generation of the upright will be blessed.
Wealth and riches are in his house,
and his righteousness endures forever.
Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,
for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man.
Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely,
who conducts his affairs with justice.
Surely he will never be shaken;
a righteous man will be remembered forever.
He will have no fear of bad news;
his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD .
His heart is secure, he will have no fear;
in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.
He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor,
his righteousness endures forever;
his strength will be lifted high in honor.
And we are here today to lift his strength, his legacy, in honor.
Sam has such a comforting presence and heart. Once while Jeni and I were home from college on a break Jeni was up late and downstairs crying about her dad’s illness. As she was crying he came in and saw her, put his arm around her, and told her, "Jen it's ok. God is faithful, I know, it's ok". He spoke slowly and took a breath here and there, but she remembers the strength and comfort of his faith and presence.
Sam was a great listener - thank God. With all those females what could he do? But when he did speak, his words were measured, wise, on time, and they always made an impact.
Sometimes his patience and few words could be intimidating. I remember when I asked him if I could marry Jeni – his oldest daughter. I was over at the house and told him I had something to ask. He picked up on it immediately and just said, “Lets take a drive.” Now, when the man whose daughter you want to marry wants to take you for a drive there can be reason for concern.
But we went to get gas. You should know that at the time I’m 18, in college, getting ready to move his daughter to Nashville, and I have no job there waiting for me – “this could be rough” – I thought.
In a shaky voice I asked for Jeni’s hand. He never said yes or no, he just waited for a long time and then said, “One piece of advice – She’s high maintenance.” I took that as a yes.
Men are remembered for many noble things, but Sam stands out in the crowd. As a Father, he is remembered by his daughters as the ever-present Hero who calmed their fears, chased away the monsters, and cheered for them in crowded gymnasiums where they remember being able to hear his voice above all others.
Katy remembers how her Dad would often come home while she was out shooting the basketball. Before even going inside Sam would get out, still in his three-piece suit, and shoot around with her until super.
Sam once drew Jeni a picture and left if on her pillow. She was in 4th grade and starring in the little theatre production of Peter Pan. The picture showed a stage and curtains with a stick-figured little girl singing and flying across the stage. There were seats with only two stick-figure people in the seats, and one of them was a man with big glasses sitting with a caption over his head that read, “That’s my girl”.
He said bedtime prayers with them every night and, if they stayed with a friend, he would call around 8pm to pray with them and make sure they were ok. He would ask if they needed to come home for any reason making sure that they were safe and comfortable while they were away – giving them a way out if they needed it. If friends came over, he would always pray a special blessing for the friend as well.
On clear nights Sam would hold the girls and take them out to see the stars and reflect on their Creator. During moments like that he would gently prophesy over his girls telling them about how uniquely God had made them and encouraging them to follow God’s calling.
When Jeni went off to college Sam wrote the Chancellor directly, charging him to make sure his daughter was safe, that she would be provided with a great education, and, he said, “make sure you get to hear her sing. She sings like a bird.”
Sam was famous with his girls for the “bronco rides”, “laughing lessons”, “counting noses”, and frequent to get “gas”, or in reality, espionage-like trips to get snow cones or ice cream.
Sam was not an early riser, but he was a cheerful riser. He would wake the girls up with silly songs, dancing, and help them get a great start on the day.
At this point I want to read a poem written by Jill that describes her love for her Dad and her perspective on his illness:
On Another Street
Hugs and kisses are what I miss
Present in time but gone in spirit
Love continues even though lost.
I would trade this path at any cost
Seemingly gone from the earth, your soul
One part lost, one part whole
Mind’s window open, emotion’s door shut
On a shelf my heartbreaks I put
I miss you pinching my nose
Dare you tickle my toes
Ice cream on waffles
Bronco rides and bedtime giggles
Your gentle words and loving hands
This is what made you a man
While far and yet near
You were my protector from all fear
Who can take such pain?
Will I ever have you back again?
Until we meet on another street
Upon waiting shall be sweet
Until we meet again and hearts collide
Where to you all my present
Secrets, I’ll confide
My daddy you will always be,
But why was your soul taken from me?
~ Jill Stennis - 2000
Sam taught his girls important principles and character through creative exercises like Handicap Sunday. Once in a while Sam would announce that, for that day, the girls would have to wear a patch over one eye, or have one arm in sling for the day in order to learn mercy for those with disabilities. He had a similar game called Starvation Sunday that taught appreciation for food and basic necessities that so many others did not have. The Girls, however, have confessed to hiding food stashes in preparation for this particular day.
Their Father’s voice could always get through to them. And they could always reach his as well. His staff at Balfour Optical knew that if one of Dr. Sam’s girls called to put them straight through.
Sam loved to learn and he loved to learn about the eyes. His patients commonly remarked that he was one of the few optometrists that actually taught then about the eyes. Also, over the years of his illness stories have continued to emerge about Sam’s generosity – free glasses or services, loans, counsel and prayer, a listening ear, and other sacrifices he made for patients. Most of the time even Gail had no idea of Sam’s secret generosity and service.
Sam was always so laid back. Once his watch batteries went out and he never noticed until Gail pointed it out much later.
In optometry school Sam was the head of class and was known as “Sudden Sam”. He often tutored his classmates late at night and so he would be tired and sleep during class the next day. Once his professor tried to set him up by asking Sam a difficult question while he was asleep in class. Sam calmly stood up; answered the question; asked the professor a question that the professor couldn’t answer; then went back to sleep.
As patient and calm as Sam was, he drove very fast. I’m not sure if that was because he liked to drive fast or if that’s just what you have to do when you have six women at home.
He often had to make trips to his other stores around the Panhandle, and in order to avoid any possible tickets he had a plan. He would take a cooler with a real eyeball in it, in case he got pulled over. That way he could show the cop and say that he was in a hurry to transport it to a patient. Eventually, in order to avoid losing his license, he had his office manager drive.
In addition to his doctorates in law and optometry, Sam had completed the course work for a Masters in Physiological Optics. When Gail asked him why he didn’t do his thesis and finish the degree he replied, "I learned what I wanted to learn". He certainly wasn’t hung up on just getting the degree. He was a genuine learner.
Sam’s passion for optometry and the eye started as a child. After receiving his first pair of glasses, he was overwhelmed by the clarity they provided.
Sam, I am overwhelmed by the clarity your life and legacy provides all of us.
No comments:
Post a Comment